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2012-02-10T04:51:00.000-08:00

(1/1/2012) Amazing Johnathon: Wrong On Every Level - I've seen this stand-up a few times. It's pretty funny, but its level of funny drops when you know what's coming. Hilarious for a first time viewing, not so much for repeat viewings. 6/10
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(1/2/2012) Mad Men: Season Two - Pure drama. This show gets better and better. 8.5/10
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(1/5/2012) Book Of Eli - Second viewing, first on blu-ray. I think I enjoyed this even more this time around. It looked and sounded fantastic on blu-ray. I love the atmosphere this flick builds, and Denzel kicks all kinds of hiney. Its no Oscar winner, but a fun post-apocalyptic trip. 7.5/10
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(1/6/2012) Silent Night, Deadly Night - I've been trying to see this movie for years, but because its been out of print, its been a bear to track down. Thanks to Mr. Weaver for the hook up. This didn't disappoint. Its been built up to me for many years, and I flat out loved it. Definitely a yearly watch. 9/10
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(1/8/2012) Mad Men: Season Three - This season was not as good as the first one, but its still a solid show. I can't wait to see Jon Hamm break into more movies. He's a badass. 8/10
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(1/9/2012) Mission : Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol - I had high expectations for Brad Bird's first live action film, and it didn't disappoint! Every bit as good as the third film, and I look forward to watching this again on blu-ray, from the comfort of my own home. 8.5/10
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(1/12/2012) Slugs - From the director that brought us Pod People, comes Slugs! Great movie for throwing back a few cold ones and mocking with your friends. 6.5/10
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(1/12/2012) Extreme Engineering: Season Two - This show is so cool! And educational. I like a show that I can learn something from. Another thing I like about this show is that there is no obnoxious host cracking bad jokes. 7.5/10
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(1/14/2012) Dirty Jobs: Season Three - Another good season of edu-tainment (stupid word, I know, but that's what it is). The wife and I continue to debate whether or not host Mike Rowe is gay. 8/10
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(1/14/2012) Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy - I was really looking forward to this spy thriller because of Gary Oldman and all the buzz the film was getting. I was totally shocked at how horrible it was. It could have been great if it hadn't been purposely edited by a lunatic to make it as confusing as possible. Film snobs love it because its narrative (or lack there of) is "different" or "unique", but the truth is it was sloppy, lazy, or just plain stupid editing. By the end I guess I kind of got everything, but it felt like long boring work when it absolutely didn't have to be. All of the points I give this film go straight to Gary Oldman and no one else. 2/10
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(1/15/2012) Doug Stanhope: No Refunds - I've seen a few standups that have come really close to offending Mr. Inoffendable Me, but this one actually succeeded a few times. Some really funny stuff, but some stuff just goes too far. There are lines, sir. 7/10
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(1/15/2012) Richard Pryor: Live On The Sunset Strip - There is just something about Pryor, he could be reading the phone book and I'd be laughing. A week after watching this, I laughed myself to tears at work just remembering one of the bits. Its too bad his 'old man' routine towards the end is so unfunny and goes on way too long. 8/10
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(1/16/2012) Superman 2: The Donner Cut - The true version of the sequel that should have been! This is my second viewing, and I'm still amazed how much better it is, not only as a film, but as an entire story arc combination with the first film. 8/10
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(1/18/2012) Mad Men: Season Four - Finally this show is taking some paths I think it needed to go. Still a very solid drama. Not much more to say. I look forward to the next season. 8/10
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(1/19/2012) Extreme Engineering: Season Three - Still a solid show, even if the new changes to the format are a little more hokey and less interesting. This show makes me feel smarter with every episode. 7/10
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(1/20/2012) The Big Lebowski - This is probably the third or fourth viewing, and every time I watch it, I'm astounded at how good it is. Everything in this film works on every level...the sound, the score, the acting, and especially the writing. I could watch this one a month. 10/10
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(1/20/2012) This Is Spinal Tap - I've been listening to references to this film since I can remember, but I never watched the whole film until now. It's good, amusing, but pretty overrated. A few really funny parts are lost on enduring the many parts that aren't. 5.5/10
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(1/20/2012) Bunranku - How to explain this film...I'll start positive and say there are some really interesting filmmaking techniques at work here. The art design, some camera movements, the blending from one scene to the next...all very unique and cool. Everything else is lacking. The story is like a generic video game, the actors look unsure of what kind of film they are working on, and everything else is just off. It's not horrible, but its not a true gem either. Worth a watch for some really unique filmmaking, but its probably trip I won't take again soon. 4.5/10
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(1/21/2012) The African Queen - A classic film that popped up on Netflix, and because I hear a lot of references to it, I decided to check it off the list. It's okay, but overall, I didn't really care. It got better after they finally got going, but took too long getting the ball rolling. I suppose it would have had more impact in its time, but its biggest fault is this is not its time. Meh. Makes me want to rewatch a true classic like Casablanca. 4/10
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(1/21/2012) Gladiator - Ridley Scott is so good at what he does...pure cinema. No matter what genre he takes on. I think a rewatch of Blade Runner is on deck. 9.5/10
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(1/21/2012) Claymore: Season One - Completely insane anime! Reminds of the awesome Berserk, but not quite as good. The first half of this season was totally awesome, but it slows down a bit in the second half. Every episode blows the previous out of the water, but that can only last so long! When you're topping yourself with every episode, it's only a matter of time till you have to blow up planets to surpass the previous episode. I look forward to another season as soon as it is available. 8/10
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(1/22/2012) These Amazing Shadows - Great documentary about a group (their name escapes me now) that preserve films. They get to submit twenty-five films a year to be part of the Library of Congress and they become federally protected art. The films have to be at least ten years old. I wish so bad the Academy would adopt a delay time like this. Just put a hold on the Oscars for five or ten years, and pick it up then. Some films take time to digest and some don't fare well with repeat viewings. Give it some time! Then maybe I wouldn't be calling you 'irrelevant' every year! 9/10
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(1/24/2012) Extreme Engineering: Season Four - Final season. This last season wasn't as good as the first two, but I guess there's only so many extreme engineering feats one can investigate in the world. I hope more pop up. I know it may seem like I watched a lot of this show really fast, but in my defense, the last two seasons only had about five episodes each. 7/10
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(1/24/2012) Se7en - First viewing on blu-ray, and its still a tremendous film. There is no error in anything. Every detail is beautiful in its horror. 10/10
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(1/25/2012) In Time - Andrew Niccol made Gattaca, so I was looking forward to his next sci-fi flick. This was pretty entertaining, but it's not as good as Gattaca. Its harder to lose yourself in the 'time = money' concept than in Gattacas. Everyone does an acceptable job acting-wise, but nothing to freak about. Overall, it's worth checking out, and I could see it growing on me with repeat viewings. We'll see. 6/10
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(1/26/2012) In Bruges - Still a funny movie with a heart. Colin Farrell and Brenden Gleeson make a great duo in the film's lead roles, and Ralph Fiennes is the most menacing bad guy I've ever seen him play. There's just something about Farrell karate chopping a midget's neck that will always make me laugh out loud. 8/10
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[Submitted for publication]

The Grey
By Erik Marner

In The Grey, Liam Neeson leads an unruly group of oil-rig roughnecks when their plane crashes into the remote Alaskan wilderness. Battling mortal injuries and merciless weather, the survivors have only a few days to escape the icy elements - and a vicious pack of rogue wolves on the hunt - before their time runs out. -- (C) Open Road Films

Pre-film trailer rundown! Silent House, appears to be a horror/thriller that was (or was made to look like it was) shot in one take. An interesting premise that looks creepy, but expect lots of shaky-cam. Wrath of the Titans, which is supposed to be better than the Clash that came before it. At least that's what everyone involved is saying, along with blaming the faults of the first on the writer's strike. Jeff Who Lives At Home, looks like a fairly run-of-the-mill quirky comedic heartfelt Oscar baiter that will make you laugh and cry and love. Thanks, but no thanks. Lock-Out, has Guy Pearce kicking all kinds of ass and dropping one-liners in space, causing dudes everywhere to give a giant "Huzzah!" in unison and high-five. Battleship, a.k.a. Transformers with less transforming and cars. Act Of Valor, looks like it can be a solid military film, as long as the story is good enough to weigh the potential forced emotion and questionable acting.

Director Joe Carnahan has had an interesting career thus far, despite his last couple outings splitting audiences. He came out of the gate hot with Narc in 2002, a cop thriller that was dark as all hell, but had everyone's attention and is a must see. 2007's Smokin' Aces wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but I dug it. It's a fun and bloody time, especially if you enjoy Guy Ritchie films like Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. As a child of the 80's that grew up watching the show, I'm probably too biased to properly view last year's The A-Team. While I had a lot of fun with it, many critics did not. Which brings us to The Grey. After watching the trailer, I was surprised to see Carnahan's name as director as this didn't look like his usual type of film.

Right of the bat I noticed the beautiful score. Its subtle, not too overbearing at the wrong times (as many scores seem to be these days), and has a very haunting feeling to it.

The plane crash is easily one of the most terrifying ever put on film. Many will draw references to Alive (even the characters in the film do), but I think it was even more intense. The visuals are as scary for what they don't show as for what they do.

Liam Neeson quickly takes charge, because he's Liam Neeson. If I were in a plane crash in the middle of Alaska and Liam Neeson starting telling me what to do, I wouldn't think twice about it. Which is probably a sad statement that I wouldn't be able to disassociate a person from the ass-kicking roles they've played, but I've just been through a plane crash. I'm in shock. Leave me alone.

I quite liked how there were very little decisions by committee. Usually in disaster movies of this sort, you can expect at least a half-hour of time wasted arguing about what to do and how to do it, and who elected you leader, and blah blah blah. Well not in The Grey, thank God. There is no panic, no hysteria with our main character. He is collected and focused and driven to survive. At one point, one of the other characters argued they shouldn't listen to his plan and didn't want to follow The Liam. Liam's response? Fine, stay here and do whatever you want. I'm going over there. Peace out. I wanted to clap at that part because I hate when they waste vital survival time arguing. It doesn't matter what they came up against; The Liam never lost his 'let's find a solution NOW' attitude.

The writing and pacing of the film was very smart. Moments of levity lead right into moments of terror, and back again. Every time the group started to relax from the trauma they were enduring, it started to make me nervous. As soon as I would see the slightest of smiles I knew there was about to be a wolf attack or ice break underfoot or meteor strike or something to make me jump. They broke up the tension very well, but it also set you on edge whenever you started to relax.

Caranahan employed a myriad of tricks to help the wolves get under the audience's skin. I've never seen wolves filmed so menacingly, ever. I've seen tamer WEREwolves. Most of the time, wolves in movies just look like big dogs; they jump and bite a character's arm causing them to fall to the ground, and that's that. In the back of my mind I always feel like I could punch or kick and fight them off. This is not so with The Grey. Most of their actions are off screen, so when they are staring a character in the face, they are uncomfortably close. These wolves look like they actually could rip your face off, and would have fun doing it. He utilized the surround sound by having it crackle with breaking branches and snarling all around the viewer. The sound was absolutely essential to viewing. See this in the loudest theater you can. By the half way mark, the off-screen snarling was making my skin crawl.

Like most survival movies, the characters get filthier and filthier until it's all over. This is also true in The Grey, but Carnahan employed a neat little trick. There are a series of flashbacks as he builds the back-story on Neeson's character. In these flashbacks, everything is pristine, bright, and warm. They are beautiful reflections of his memory, and for the audience a welcome gasp of fresh air before being thrown back into the cold nightmare.

The Grey may not be a happy film by any stretch, but it is essential viewing, both for it's great filmmaking techniques and it's commentary on the human condition. It is the snowy flip side of the coin whose opposite side Danny Boyle's Sunshine occupies.

If The Grey is any indication of what cinema in 2012 is going to be like, it's going to be a great year.

8.5/10
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(1/30/2012) Double Dare - Pretty cool documentary about stunt-women and the struggles they go through to get work in a male dominated career. It gets better in its second half when it spends more time following Zoe Bell as she attempts to get the role of doubling Uma Thurman for Kill Bill. 7/10
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(1/31/2012) Underworld: Awakening (2D) - I had to leave the theater twice to tell the morons to turn off their projection room light because it was shining on the screen, so I already missed a couple good portions of this film. Despite that, this was as good as any of the Underworld films. We saw the 2D version due to timing, and I'll be the 3D version was cool. Maybe I'll catch it in 3D at the dollar theater. The third act especially got pretty gory. My biggest complaint I can't even dance around discussing because it is a running spoiler of the film, and it is rather minor complaint anyway. I look forward to another film in this series. 7.5/10
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(1/31/2012) The Big Boss (A.K.A. Fists Of Fury) - I've seen this Bruce Lee classic about a hundred times, but its always been in crappy VHS quality. Seeing it in HD was GREAT! This is classic old school Bruce Lee awesome. 9/10
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(1/31/2012) Leon (A.K.A. The Professional) - Another classic, with one of my top ten favorite scores. Gary Oldman plays the best villain ever, still very creepy. This international version plays more on the love relationship which borders on creepy, but considering the way they handled it, its reasonable, and doesn't get too wrong. 9/10
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December reviews.

2012-01-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

(12/2/2011) Moon – Second viewing on bluray. Still holds up. An absolutely amazing performance piece. Sam Rockwell’s multiple performances have such a delicate nuance I completely forget I’m watching one actor. 9.5/10
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(12/4/2011) Hook – I’ve always loved this film, and it was neat getting to watch it with the kiddo for the first time. It looked good in HD, but some of the effects towards the end still look dated, and as I recall, they looked dated when I first saw it in the theater. Ah the infancy of the green screen! Robin Williams is great as an old Pan, that is until he is in the tights. Then he looks creepy. Oh well, remember it’s a kids movie. Dustin Hoffman and Bob Hoskins steal the show. Maybe it’s a nostalgia flick, but I imagine I will always enjoy this one. 8/10
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(12/4/2011) Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave – Anyone that doesn’t love these short films should have their head examined. I haven’t seen them in years, and I’m glad to report they still make me laugh till I have tears. A Close Shave isn’t my favorite, but it does introduce us to Shaun the sheep, who’s own show is equally hilarious, and gets a lot of watching around our household. I highly recommend both Wallace & Gromit and Shaun The Sheep for great clean family hilarity. 9/10
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(12/4/2011) Finding Nemo – Thanks to a niece who was obsessed with Nemo, I’ve seen this movie approximately 1,457 times. It’s still a solid film with a lot of laughs and heart. Pixar has very few misses. Still a jarring opening. Hey lets open this kids movie cartoon with the slaughter of bunch of babies in eggs! Yeah! 8.5/10
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(12/4/2011) BBQ Pitmasters: Season One – Desperately in need of another culinary related show, I stumbled across this treat. I wish they would grill more varieties of meats, but its still difficult to get through an episode without drooling. They’ve definitely given me some ideas for next summer’s grilling season! 7/10
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(12/6/2011) Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out – I remembered this one as being my favorite W&G because of one joke (the soccer ball on the moon), and while that bit still makes me laugh into a coughing fit, overall I had to drop this episode a bit. While still great and funny, it was the next episode that made me laugh till I thought I was having a heart attack. It doesn’t help that Gromit makes the same eye gestures as my actual dog. It’s a good thing theres not too many of these episodes or I could actually die laughing. 8/10
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(12/6/2011) Queen Of The Damned – In a bit of pure Hollywood, some moron decided to combine a few bits of The Vampire Lestat and Queen Of The Damned to follow up Interview With The Vampire. Smooth move, idiots. You screwed up both stories. You should have just made The Vampire Lestat and been done with it.

While no where near the level of greatness of Interview, its not awful. Really its biggest fault is that its not nearly as well made as Interview. Such a shame. The music is a big factor in what keeps me watching this about once a year. Jonathon Davis really pulled together some interesting people to write songs for this, and it really is a cool soundtrack.
Overall its worth a watch for vampire fans, but otherwise its too muddled and forgettable to really push others to check out. 5.5/10
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(12/6/2011) Bird On A Wire – Went on a bit of a “bad 90’s action” streak. Haven’t seen this since it first came out. Its amusing, but that’s about it. Goldie Hawn is grating. Ehh. 4/10
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(12/8/2011) The Boondock Saints – Possibly the most overhated movie of all time, and for no good reason. At absolutely worst, it’s a mediocre action flick. At best, it’s a fun and different twist on generic action/mob flicks. I quite enjoy it, and I think it’s funny. I think most people take it way too serious. 8/10
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(12/8/2011) Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers – Tears. Laughed till about fell out of my chair, and I was wiping away tears. Absolutley hilarious. 9.5/10
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(12/9/2011) The Walking Dead: Season One – Been hearing about this show for quite some time. It is definitely a good watch, but its biggest flaw is one that is in possibly every single zombie anything…stupid people doing stupid things. It is so frustrating watching a character do something that no person would ever do. Annoying, but not a deal breaker. I’ll keep watching. 7/10
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(12/10/2011) Slacker – I had to watch this because it was the film that inspired Kevin Smith to become a filmmaker. I now question if that inspiration was because he thought it was a great film made so low budget, or because it’s a piece of crap about absolutely nothing. Scratch that, if it were about nothing, that would at least be something. Its less than nothing. I’m thinking it’s the latter. At any rate, I’ll give it credit for being different from the norm and defining the idea of what an independent film can be, but other than that, skip it. 3.5/10
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(12/10/2011) Chillerama – What a shocker this was. The very definition of a gem in the rough. The comedy/horror bar has forever been altered. Its too bad the one short film involved was so incredibly bad and unfunny, because the rest of the film was absolutely hysterical. Had a total blast with this film, just skip the werewolf one. 8.5/10
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(12/12/2011) Peter Pan (2003) – First viewing since the theater. Still liked it, but it’s a tad disturbing seeing the story acted by live action kids. Some of the subject matter seems better suited for animation. Good double header with Hook. 7/10
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(12/12/2011) The League: Season One – A buddy from my fantasy football league clued me into this show, and I can’t believe how funny it was. I burned through both seasons in short order. As funny as it was, I think you have to be in a league to really get all the stupidity. 9/10
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(12/15/2011) Star Trek: Season Three - Geez I'm glad this is over! I really dig the show, but c'mon, how many episodes are in a season?! Seemed to take forever to get through all of these, especially when only about one in four is really good. I will revisit these someday, but not too soon. 7/10
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(12/15/2011) Them! – I remember seeing this when I was about ten. It’s a fun movie to make fun of. Pretty much any old black and white movie with giant monsters is good for that, though. Giant ants, OH NO! 5.5/10
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(12/15/2011) Shaolin – This was quite a disappointment. The trailer was so promising, and it turned out to be pretty run of the mill. It would have helped to lighten the score and trim some of the drama. Too serious for its own good, especially when Jackie Chan is hamming it up in the background. Worth a watch for some gorgeous filmmaking in the third act, but its not enough to save the film. 6/10
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(12/16/2011) Amazonia Vertical – Neat doc about three people (two guys and a girl) who head into the Amazon to climb some cliffs. They see a lot of neat stuff, climb up some crazy cliffs, climb down some crazy cliffs, and blather on hypocritically about nature and being green and all that. The best line was at the end of their journey, watching a boat chug up river, complaining about what a waste and pollutant it was…when will people learn…I could still smell the exhaust…hey dummy, why is it better that you TOOK A PLANE UP RIVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FILM, AND THEY ARE TAKING A BOAT? You’re a moron. Still worth a watch for the journey and the visuals, just ignore the self-righteous narration. 6/10
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(12/16/2011) Howl’s Moving Castle – Second viewing. I still quite enjoyed it, but not as much as the first time. The third act is where it all is for this film. The third act is terrific. The rest is a little uncomfortably dark for a kids film, but it is Studio Ghibli. The Japanese seem to be less concerned with spirits and magic and all that, which makes for great animated films for grown ups, though. 7.5/10
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(12/17/2011) The League: Season Two – I want more! This show is hilarious! 9/10
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(12/18/2011) A Christmas Carol (2009) – First viewing. This was a solid version of the classic tale. I wish they had someone other than Jim Carrey do the ghosts, as a little Jim goes a long way. Makes me want to watch Scrooged again for a truly funny take on the story. 6.5/10
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(12/18/2011) Operation Condor – Classic Jackie Chan. Laughs and martial arts. What more needs said? 7/10
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(12/18/2011) Supercop – Slightly more serious Jackie Chan, but still a very fun movie. Michelle Yeoh can hold her own with Chan. 7.5/10
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(12/18/2011) Mad Men: Season One – This is my second viewing of the first season, and it holds up just fine. The overt sexism of the period is such a focal point of the show, that it’s just jaw dropping. Amazing to think things used to be like that. 8.5/10
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(12/18/2011) Important Things With Demitri Martin: Season Two – Still good for a solid half hour of smiles. Good lord does that guy have a giant nose. 8/10
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(12/19/2011) Dirty Jobs: Season Two – I can tell it took a season to get their rhythm. I look forward to more, and expect it to improve over the next few seasons. 8/10
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(12/22/2011) Shaun The Sheep: Season One – I didn’t know what to expect from a show that’s spun off from a Wallace & Gromit character, but its REALLY funny. I love how there is no actual dialogue, just grunts. Makes it all the funnier. A must for those looking for some quick family safe material. 9/10
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(12/22/2011) Fright Night 2D (2011) – Second viewing of the film, first in 2D. I’m happy to report this is still a blast, but I wished I was watching the 3D version. Watching it in 2D made me realize how well it was shot. Oh well, maybe one day when I go 3D… 9/10
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(12/23/2011) F/X – I’ve always been curious about this 90’s flick. It wasn’t good, but I had to watch it. Curiosity got the better of me! 4.5/10
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[submitted for publication]

(12/27/2011)

The Darkest Hour
By Erik Marner

The Darkest Hour is the story of five young people who find themselves stranded in Moscow, fighting to survive in the wake of a devastating alien attack. The 3D thriller highlights the classic beauty of Moscow alongside mind-blowing special effects. -- (C) Summit

Have you ever found yourself stranded in a foreign country? Me either. I usually get stranded downtown by friends who were obviously embarrassed they couldn't consume as much alcohol as me. Must be nice to be young and rich; when deciding to visit non-exotic locales such as Moscow, isn't a hostage situation, but a choice. Imagine being rich enough to say, "I'm going to Moscow. Not Greece or Italy or France or Australia, but Moscow. Because I can." When I become a wealthy globetrotting philanthropist (after curing AIDS, cancer, and Nickelback), I'm heading for warm places like Tahiti or the Caribbean. But what do I know? Maybe young kids these days have a thing for fur hats, cosmonauts, and bread lines (they still have those, right?).

After our main characters arrive in Moscow (and some bad writing and acting to present some fairly laughable setup for three Americans and an Aussie to BE in Moscow) the alien invasion starts. It begins with a very nice 'sky is falling' moment, and ends with the first of many ill-placed fade to blacks. I thought it was strange to end the first big action scene with a fade to black and use it to transition through our group of five survivors figuring out a game plan. Not a big deal I suppose, it's not uncommon to use that transition to denote the end of one act, and the beginning of another.

I have to give a bonus to our characters at this point. Usually in films of this type our group of survivors run around like morons doing things no one would do. How many times have you screamed at a movie, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Me too. At the very least, The Darkest Hour survivors grab supplies every chance they get, they try to be pro-active, and they try to help each other. May sound silly, but I appreciate that.

I don't know who wrote the dialogue in this movie, but I hope for their sake it was translated from Russian into English, and most of its wit was lost in translation. Scratch that, it would have to be translated from Russian to Swahili to Portuguese to English to be lost enough to excuse the eye rolling it induces. "I try to keep my freak-out on the inside!" Really? "Fight fire with fire." That line would definitely be on my top ten list of cliché lines that should be retired for all time. It may have helped if the dialogue had been presented better than by a pack of seemingly bored actors reading the lines off of queue cards. Did I mention the fades to black? Because they seem to start about four words before a line of dialogue is over, that way the screen is dark about the same time the line is over. What happened? Did the actor rip a huge fart right at the end of the scene and you had to cut? What is with all the fades?

At about the halfway point the film picks up. It's easier to ignore a film's shortcomings when things are moving faster, unfortunately for this film, too much damage has been done. By now though, you're committed to see this thing through to the end. After seeing the trailer, you and I both know it all is going to come down to the third act. The trailer gives us the setup, plot, and half the action, so how is this to end? Is it going to be an epic fail or a total payoff that makes the rest of the mess worth enduring?

Saying the start of the third act is retarded would be insulting to mentally retarded people. I could see them watching that scene and standing up in the theater saying, "THAT'S WORSE THAN RETARDED! AND I WOULD KNOW! And it's okay for me to say that, because I AM mentally retarded. It's not okay for you to say that."

You know what? I'm going to tell you what happened. I normally try to be as vague as possible so you can enjoy the details on your own, but not this time. If you are easily spoiled skip the rest of this paragraph and the next. You've been warned. The third act begins with our band of survivors in a boat floating down a river to meet a submarine. As they near the sub, a building is destroyed, and their boat is overturned. Fade to black. Our heroes swim to the submarine and climb aboard, but one is missing (the girl, of course). "We have to find her! Where can she be?!" A flare arcs across the sky from miles away, inside the city. "We have to go after her!" Fade to black. Are you freaking kidding me? How the hell did this happen? What happened in that fade to black? Did she suddenly discover her mutant ability to teleport? How in the hell did she wind up miles away, and how did she get there so fast?

Okay, whatever. Keep the story going and go after her. Armed with Ghostbuster guns, the crew heads back into the city. Suddenly and inexplicably, the almost completely invisible aliens all have different cell phone ringtones. What the hell is going on? It must have happened in the last fade to black. Alrighty. The Ghostbuster guns disable the aliens invisibility and shields so they become susceptible to gunfire. That is interesting and reasonable. What isn't reasonable is when our main character chucks a piece of rubble at an alien and it explodes. Fade to black.

The film ends on a piece of dialogue so bad it makes one wonder how in the hell anyone could look at that scene and say, "Yes. This is how I want to end my film. This is the best effort I could put forth." Was the director surrounded by yes men? Did everyone just go along with it out of fear of offending him? How did an editor watch that over and over and not commit suicide? Fade to black.

The most entertaining part of this film was the trailer for Man On A Ledge that preceded it. If you absolutely must kill a couple hours, watch that trailer about fifty times. Fade to black.

3.5/10
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(12/27/2011) Blitz – I’m stunned to report that this direct to video Jason Statham movie is better than his last few theatrical releases! Interesting plot, some MEAN bits of violence, and an ending that I absolutely loved. I will own this. 8/10
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(12/30/2011) Rescue Me: Season Six – This show has gotten a little too far over the top, and I hope it hasn’t fully jumped the shark, but it may have. I don’t like how Tommy is practically neutered and everyone is running his life. What made the show great was him runny amok and acting out. Taming him makes the show ridiculous. We’ll see… 7/10
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(12/31/2011) Extreme Engineering: Season One – Glad I found another sciencey show! This one is really good. I love learning how things were built or designed. I learn something with every single episode, and its good for watching with the kiddo and explaining stuff to her. 8/10
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November reviews...

2012-01-13T10:42:00.001-08:00

(11/1/2011) Wolverine & The X-Men: Season One – I caught a few episodes of this here and there, and wasn’t very impressed. Watching the whole series from the beginning, wow, I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s off-canon, but who cares, it’s an interesting story. I can’t wait for season two to hit Netflix. 8/10
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(11/1/2011) Rounders – I’ve always really enjoyed this flick, but I never came across a dvd copy reasonably priced. Boom, I find the blu-ray for cheap. I don’t usually purchase non-mindblowing-special-effects-and-sound-heavy movies on blu, but hey, that price is right. Wow, that was a FINE film in HD picture and sound. The light jazz score sounded beautiful. Not a perfect film, but solid all around. 8/10
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(11/2/2011) Fright Night 3D (2011) – Saw this only because I wanted to watch a movie. Wasn’t a huge fan of the original, and the trailer for the remake didn’t spark much more than passing interest.

Wow, was I misled by that trailer. I had an absolute ball with this film, and the 3D was excellent. This could have been so easily ruined. Instead, the writing saved this film from being a trainwreck. I don’t care who knows it, I loved this vampire flick. With the exception of the Blade and Underworld series’, this may be my favorite vampire flick since From Dusk Till Dawn. 9/10
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(11/3/2011) John Pinette: I'm Starvin'! - Pinette is and probably will always be in my top five stand-ups ever. He repeats a lot of his routine from his previous stand-up, and it still brings me to tears. This was my wife’s first viewing of Mr. Pinette, and half way through she was begging me to turn it off. She was laughing so hard she was in real physical pain. True story. 9/10
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(11/2/2011) The Cleveland Show: Season One – I didn’t think too much of this show when I watched it on tv. Watching it on Netflix, I realize that was because it was between Family Guy and American Dad, both superior. Sure, it’s a poor mans Family Guy, but that still means its about five times funnier than OTHER shows on tv these days. At any rate, it makes me laugh. 7/10
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(11/8/2011) The Thing (2011) – Maybe my expectations were too high, but I couldn’t stop thinking “I wish I was watching Carpenter’s The Thing instead of this.” I remember reading an article in Empire about the prequel while they were filming it. The director said, “If they could do the special effects practically in ’82, there’s no reason we can’t do them now. We are NOT going all CGI.” (or something there abouts). I was rather shocked when EVERY FREAKING EFFECT IN THIS MOVIE LOOKS CGI. What happened?

It’s competently acted, and I’m not about to throw Ms. Winstead under the bus of this film, as she did a fine job.

There’s nothing really remarkable about this prequel until the last act. There we get into some interesting sci-fi material, but it isn’t enough for me to really recommend the flick. Other than that, this film is almost beat for beat with the original, again, making me wish I was watching that instead!

Check it out if you’re a fan of Carpenter’s film. If you haven’t seen that one, and you’re a horror fan, I’d love to hear your thoughts after seeing the prequel before Carpenter’s. 5.5/10
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(11/9/2011) The Big Year – I was nervous about this flick. I am WAY too close to the purest of pure source materials on this one. I was gonna see it anyway to support it, despite some of the worst reviews of the year. Maybe I am too close to it, but the reviews are way off and unbalanced. Most of the ultra-negative reviews I read were by people who had given positive reviews to at least one rom-com. Give me a freaking break. This film was better if not at least equal to that trash. I actually quite enjoyed it despite the unneeded distortions of the main character’s father. By the time it was over I was agitated at all the hate. What gives? Maybe its just me. 7/10
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(11/9/2011) Spider-Man – First viewing on blu. It’s still a solid film when viewed against other comic book films, but I still think it was all handled a little too goofy. I love Raimi, but I think his strong stuff is not in this genre. I have always hated the rooftop scene with Goblin and Spider-Man, its just painful. Kevin Smith said it best, “It’s like a guy holding two action figures and puppeting them into acting.” 7/10
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(11/10/2011) Season Of The Witch – Ahhh, Nic Cage. Will you disappoint me again? Surprisingly, no! Pretty decent and strange little flick, but I’d watch it again. Cool twist in the third act, and the story kept me intrigued all the way through. No homerun, but worth a watch. 6.5/10
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(11/13/2011) Dirty Jobs: Season One – Mike Rowe and his filthiness. A good show to watch with the family. Gives good chances to educate the kid on a variety of different topics. 7.5/10
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(11/13/2011) Deadliest Catch: Season Seven – Well, I’m back on the boat. Can’t help it. I love crab fishing. 8/10
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(11/11/2011) Machete Maidens Unleashed! – Very interesting documentary about the explosion of exploitation filmmaking. A must see for fans of 70’s exploitation films. I’m such a dork for documentaries about the history of cinema. 8.5/10
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(11/14/2011) Gold Rush Alaska: Season One – I have never seen a bigger pack of whining worthless idiots. Its jawdropping to watch these morons parade off into the wilderness. My biggest complaint is the amount of whining they do about the economy and being broke and forced to drastic measures to support their families...while they spend HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO DO IT. I could almost retire on what they spent to set up that operation. And instead of getting quality advice from people who know, they take along their friends to help. I believe they thought they would roll up to Alaska and there would be chunks of gold just lying on the ground. Amazing these people remember to breathe. It is entertaining if only to criticize them, and these fools make me look like a genius. 5.5/10
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(11/14/2011) Daffy Duck Movie: Fantastic Island – They strung together Looney Tunes episodes with a convoluted storyline stringing them together and called it a movie. I’d be annoyed, but it’s freaking LOONEY TUNES. When are they not enjoyable?! Who cares about the movie, the episodes are still classic fun. 7/10
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(11/14/2011) Full Metal Jacket – First viewing on blu-ray. While I am still uncomfortable with them screwing with Kubrick’s filmed aspect ratio (they trim the top and bottom to make it widescreen), the transfer is fantastic, and always with this film, its always been about the story and the dialogue. Like all Kubrick’s work, it more than stands the test of time. Brilliant film. Still get goosebumps at the end with the troops are singing the Mickey Mouse Club theme song. 10/10
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(11/14/2011) Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time – I promised to give this another shot, and my opinion remains unchanged. What a piece of crap. SyFy original bad filmmaking, soap opera worthy bad acting, and after-school special bad writing. Two hours that felt like four. I could break down all the aspects of this film I hated, but what would be the point? 2/10
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(11/15/2011) The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – My second viewing, and its still as solid as the first. Just an excellent story with an edgy plot. It didn’t lose any of its intensity. I suspect Fincher’s remake will be even better. 9/10
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(11/15/2011) Troll Hunter – They keep coming up with new ways to do the “found footage” thing. The biggest weakness of this flick is the “shaky looking at my feet” cam. C’mon man. We suffer enough in this genre with lackluster camerawork, we don’t need that on top of it. Other than that, I quite enjoyed this flick. The trolls were cool, and it was smart of the filmmakers not to go straight horror. Straight horror wouldn’t have worked. The comedy hybrid made it a fun popcorn flick. 7.5/10
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(11/17/2011) Star Trek: Season Two – The show is still enjoyable, but the cracks begin to emerge. I think there’s only about five actual different story-lines for these episodes. I wish there were more diversity in some of their adventures. It’s a big universe! 7/10
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(11/18/2011) The Lion King 3D – Unpopular opinion alert! The Lion King has never been that high on my list of favorite Disney animated films. I know, I’m the weirdo. It’s an okay film, I was just never blown away by it. Seeing in 3D did little to change my opinion. It felt like it wasn’t so much 3D as a foreground layer and a background layer moving slightly off from each other. That’s not enough for me to give the 3D a thumbs up. It had maybe two scenes that really popped, but they were about two seconds long (mostly of birds flying). Eh. 5.5/10
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(11/29/2011) World’s Toughest Fixes: Season One – I have always wondered how things work. I would always take apart VCR’s and computer’s just for the fun of dismantling them and seeing how the innards function. That being said, seeing this guy tear apart nuclear reactors, cruise ship engines, wind turbines, giant observatory telescopes, and all kinds of huge things of that nature, it’s a given that I’m gonna enjoy it. Could do with a little less narrative and attempts at humor from the host, but oh well. 8/10
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(11/20/2011) Vigilante – Holy crap did I enjoy this flick! Classic 80’s cheesy revenge fun. It was kind of a cross between a Death Wish and a Commando, with a feel of The Warriors. Loved it. A must for fans of cheesy 80’s cinema. 8.5/10
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(11/22/2011) The Girl Who Played With Fire – Second viewing, and again, my review remains unchanged. I can’t emphasize enough: If you’re going to watch this trilogy, WATCH THEM CLOSE TOGETHER. The plot is so full of details and characters, its hard to remember who was who and what was what. Do not watch them with considerable time gaps between sequels or you will be lost. My first viewing of this was months after The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and I spent half the movie trying to remember what was going on.

This time, I didn’t repeat that mistake. The film is very solid, maybe even better that GWTDT. The first film can stand alone, but this is almost the first half of a two parter with Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest, as that picks up from the moment this ends. I Absolutely love this trilogy. 9/10
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(11/22/2011) World’s Toughest Fixes: Season Two – I wish there was more of this show! Hopefully there will be more on Netflix one day. I feel like my brain is absorbing pure knowledge when I watch these fixes. Good stuff. 8/10
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(11/23/2011) The Last Airbender – I had to give this another chance after watching the show. On the one hand, its not as painful if you know the show and what they were trying to achieve. On the other, it’s more painful because you see all the simple ways the completely failed to capture the show. The show has so many great moments, and the movie tries to cram them all into one film. You can’t do that! It’s impossible! But it’s not just the big things the movie bricked…here’s an idea…maybe pronounce the characters names correctly? What if they remade Star Wars and went around calling the main characters Luck and Hun and Shewbecca? It’s freaking grating. 4/10
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(11/23/2011) Spider-Man: Season Five – It’s probably for the best that this show is over. This last season was weird. Bizarro stories of aliens transporting Spidey to other planets to play games to research good vs evil? C’mon man, it’s a kids show. Swing around and fight Venom and Doc Ock and call it a day. 6/10
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(11/23/2011) The Cleveland Show: Season Two – I think this show is unfairly disliked. It’s really starting to find its rhythm. I’ll bet season three will be even better. 7/10
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(11/23/2011) Breaking Bad: Season Two – I’m really digging this show, but I absolutely hate Walter’s wife and sister-in-law, to the point where I may have to stop watching the show. 8/10
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(11/24/2011) The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest – Rewatched with the wife. She really liked the trilogy. Even though this third film is more courtroom drama than thriller like the previous two, I still think it’s a great film and a great closer. Every question from the previous two films is wrapped up with a neat bow. 9/10
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[submitted for publication]

(11/25/2011)
Hugo (in 3D)
By Erik Marner

Throughout his extraordinary career, Academy Award-wining director Martin Scorsese has brought his unique vision and dazzling gifts to life in a series of unforgettable films. This holiday season the legendary storyteller invites you to join him on a thrilling journey to a magical world with his first-ever 3-D film, based on Brian Selznick's award-winning, imaginative New York Times best-seller, "The Invention of Hugo Cabret." Hugo is the astonishing adventure of a wily and resourceful boy whose quest to unlock a secret left to him by his father will transform Hugo and all those around him, and reveal a safe and loving place he can call home. -- (C) Paramount

I'll be honest; the only reason I chose to review or even see Hugo this month is because I had to see what Scorsese in 3D looked liked. Some of the opening scenes were absolutely gorgeous; any scene with snow was amazing. He was fairly subtle in his use of the 3D, but he did find a few unique uses. In one scene, Sacha Baron Cohen's police officer slowly leans closer and closer to the camera. His nose was coming right at me, like twin black holes growing larger and larger, absorbing light, and a small child from the first row. I am also happy to report the 3D didn't hurt my eyes as it sometimes does. If you're not a fan of the 3D, don't fret, it wasn't so imposing that the film wouldn't be just as enjoyable in 2D. Choose the dimension of liking, the film will be just fine either way.

Like Spielberg, Scorsese has the power to capture a period of time with such minutia, it's as though you can smell it. And with him, I look forward to smell-o-vision. He'll be the master of that too.

Chloe Moretz could be feminist poster-girl. This is the second time she has played a dominating puppy love interest to a shorter wimpy boy (see also Let Me In). It's up to her to teach these boys to quit being cowardly little chickens and to stand up and be men. In Kick-Ass she may have been shorter than her counterpart, but he was giant wussy ass for her to kick. I say kudos Ms. Moretz, its time to put these girly-men in their place.

Scorsese's adult-film mentality shows through in the second act. He needed to add another action beat or two in this section of the film. While the story and pace are fine, I bet most of the youngsters I know would be bored. I know that reads like I'm wishing he would make it appealing to kid's already short attention spans, but that really isn't what I mean. The film is quite good, but his 'kids film' is geared for adults to the point where I don't know if it would be all that entertaining to KIDS. I also don't think this generation of kids has an appreciation for cinema's beginnings as much as even my generation. I'm 32 years old and my kid looks at me like I'm an alien when I try to tell her about black-and-white televisions, a time when 'home video' didn't exist in any form, or a pre-internet world. I'm just a little unsure how much enjoyment six to twelve year olds would get out of Hugo. If you think I'm wildly off base in underestimating today's youth, either email me, or go watch some of Disney channel or MTV. I hope I'm wrong and the only people sending those channels ratings through the roof are confused nursing home patrons and Best Buys forgetting to put their display models on something not retarded.

The entire third act of the film is clearly about the love of the birth of cinema, the magic and wonder the new invention brought to people. If you love silent film, or even just appreciate it for what it was, you will like the third act of this film immensely. I did. Maybe it's even a good idea to force your little ADHD spawn to watch Hugo so he understands how humble the beginning of cinema really was. If there were no silent film era, there would be no Jersey Shore.

In closing, Hugo is a good film. It's safe for your kid, but probably more entertaining for you. If you're a Muppet hater, talk your kid into seeing Hugo. Who cares if the little brat hates it? Not like he's paying for the tickets, right? Screw him. But if they smashed their little piggy bank for a trip to the movies, I'd head for The Muppets.
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(11/25/2011) Ronin – First viewing on blu-ray, and this film is still one of the very best action/thriller/spy films ever made. I love the dialogue, the vague plot details, and DeNiro is amazing. A must see film. 10/10
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(11/26/2011) Scott Pilgrim Vs The World – Why did I give this a 9.5 last time? Time to take the leap and commit. 10/10
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(11/26/2011) Inglorious Basterds – I believe this is my third viewing. Tarantino has really found his definitive style of filmmaking. He has it down to a science, and its amazing to see in motion. Every beat is a bullseye, every bit of dialogue airtight. 10/10
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(11/26/2011) American Experience: Panama Canal – A fascinating documentary about how the Panama Canal came to be. I’ve always been enthralled with the Panama Canal, so I may be biased, but I loved this. I was totally entertained through out. 9/10
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(11/28/2011) Dylan Dog: Dead Of Night – There is usually a reason when a film goes straight to video and this is no exception to that rule. Some interesting ideas, but mostly lost in the muddled strangeness. Worth a watch to see how NOT to make a movie. Not horrible, but very misguided. The constant voice over narration by the main character is grating and idiotic. The VO tells you every single thing that wanders through his mind, weather it has bearing on the story or not! Pointless. Still, I’ve seen and endured far worse. 4/10
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(11/29/2011) Man Vs Food: Season Two – This show is straight forward, and still awesome. Nothing worth adding to that, really. 8/10
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(11/29/2011) Breaking Bad: Season Three – Still a decent show, and I will have to see this through to the end. Walters wife and sister-in-law are still two of the worst human beings ever created. I hate them with a passion that burns deep in my soul. 7/10
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(11/30/2011) Superman: The Movie – First viewing with the kiddo. We all enjoyed it, but the ending is still lame. Took a lot to explain to the kid what was going on. Still a fun film. 8.5/10
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(11/30/2011) Important Things With Demitri Martin: Season One – Always loved Demitri Martin, so deciding to watch his show was a no brainer. Its fun, but not as intensely worked out as his stand up. Still a funny funny guy. 7/10
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(11/30/2011) Drive – Easily tops my list of best movies of the year. Very well written, beautifully shot, fantastic score…the only thing that holds me back from giving this a full ten is the ending. I will have to see what I think when I rewatch it. 9.5/10
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Avatar

2010-01-03T15:25:00.000-08:00

It's not Cameron's best film, but I'm glad for this: Avatar has made one billion dollars in seventeen days. May he have a blank check forever.

Batman

2009-07-21T04:23:00.000-07:00

Batman
Okay, I recognize that you have to start somewhere. So I give it credit for beginning it all. Other than that, terrible. Nicholson is just doing his imitation of Caesar from the corny tv show, Batman murders dozens of henchmen, and his identity is revealed to a woman.

Batman Returns
Little better than Batman. Bats doesn't have quite the same murderous tear he had in the first, but his body count is still higher than his villians combined. Also, he reveals his identity to a woman.

Batman Forever
The beginning of the Shumacher era! Jim Carrey plays the Riddler playing the Joker. Batman drives the Batmobile up a building...and then...hangs there I guess...till the bad guys get bored and go home...or something. Also, he reveals his identity to a woman.

Batman & Robin
The end of the Shumacher era. Someone says: "Hey! Let's put the Bane villian in our movie, but make Arnold Mr. Freeze!" God kills a kitten. Epicly horrid one liners ensue. Also, Batman's identity is revealed to a woman.

Batman Begins
Nolan puts his bid in as the first director to make a Batman film based on Batman stuff. Not without flaw, but an Oscar winner by comparision to previous flicks. Also, Batman reveals his identity to a woman.

The Dark Knight
Nolan puts his bid in to be the coolest person ever. Only flaw is Maggie G. looks like a hound. Finally, Batman doesn't reveal his identity to a woman, and we eliminate the last woman he did tell. Beautiful!

I Wish.

2009-07-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Here are a few of my wishes for movies of the future. It would take a perfect storm of awesome to get these projects off the ground, so unless one of you has a special rusty oil lamp to let me rub, such a maelstrom of supreme filmdom will never happen. Still, I have a lot of fun speculating.

EDIT: I try to stay somewhat within the realm of plausibility here, so bear that in mind.

1. Michael Mann [Heat] directs Bad Boys 3.

2. Len Wiseman [Underworld 1 & 2, Die Hard 4] directs The Fastiest & Furiousest.

3. David Fincher [Seven, The Game, Fight Club, Panic Room, Zodiac, Ben Button] directs Miami Vice 2, starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Fox, with Alan Rickman, Benecio Del Toro, Joseph Gordon Leavitt, and Gary Oldman.

4. Ryheui Kitamura [Versus, Azumi, Godzilla: Final Wars, Midnight Meat Train] directs Predator(s) 3, starring Ed Harris, Vinnie Jones, Olga Kurylenko, and Jason Patrick.

5. Christopher Nolan [Momento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight] directs Alien 5, starring Gabriel Byrne, Giavanni Ribisi, Milla Jovovich, Dexter Fletcher, Pete Postlewaite, Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, and Colm Feore.

6. Christopher Guest [Spinal Tap, A Mighty Wind, Best In Show, For Your Consideration] directs Fantastic Four 3, starring David Hasselhoff, Matthew Lillard, Maggie Gyllenhall, and John C. Reilly.

EDIT: Whadda ya mean Fantastic Four isn't a comedy?! Haven't you seen the first two?

Summer Movies Round 2

2009-06-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

Drag Me To Hell
Raimi's return to horror delivers as only he can. I was curious about the PG-13 rating, but it fit. There really was no room for gore or anything that would bump it to R, it was just full of gross-outs. And they were really gross. Eww.
8/10

The Taking of Pelham 123
Much better than expected! Of course, I had low expectations...so...yeah. The back and forth dialogue is excellent, and very not cliche, which is a hot button issue with me. The slow-motion-blurry-worthless-action-cam is completely awful, but there's little enough of it to ignore.
7/10

The Hangover
Quite disturbing that three weeks after this films initial release, a thursday night, the theater is over half full, mostly with kids under fifteen. What is wrong with parents? Anyhoo, very funny, movie, but very much for adults. Or apparently, young teens on their cell phones. Heh, whatever.
8/10

I'm ready for some more giant explosion sci-fi summer movies...c'mon Transformers!

Outlander (a.k.a. Jesus & Vikings vs. Aliens)

2009-06-11T19:59:00.001-07:00

Premise: An alien monster lands on Earth during the time of the vikings, and its up to Jesus to lead the vikings to victory. If only Minnesota had such luck.

There was not much hope floating around for this flick, mostly due to it being lost in post-production hell for so long. I swear I saw a trailer for this almost two years before a watchable version became available. This does not generally bode well for a sci-fi flick. Shockingly, it turns out to be a pretty sweet flick! Jim Caviezel throws down a pretty good job as a alien killing spaceman turned viking. Quite surprised at the quality of the special effects, especially considering the delay of release. Definately worth a watch.

7.5/10

Twilight

2009-06-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

So I'm an hour into Twilight...could someone please drive over to my house and punch me in the face? Please? I'm begging you!

Golf = Life

2009-05-31T04:27:00.000-07:00

There are few things in life as frustrating as golf. Many of the reasons its frustrating are the same reasons I love the game. Nobody has an advantage. You are only as good as you are. You can't say "He's better because ..." or "His clubs blah blah blah". Anyone who knows the basics of the game can hit an amazing shot with any club. The only advantage anyone could arguably have is that they practice more, and you can't fault your opponent for your lack of effort.

Yesterdays eighteen holes was an exercise in patience. There were several fivesomes on the field (which is highly unusual, and we were all surprised they let them go out), creating massive backups, and lots of sitting time. Soooooo annoying. By the time you get to hit, your totally out of the groove. But, you can't fault other morons for your emotional discontent and ensuing superfail, Dr. Shankenstein!

Nah, all in all, yesterday was one of my favorite rounds of the year so far, and I didn't even break a hundred. Didn't matter though, I've really straightened out my drive, and my putting is no longer the bane of my exsistance. Of course, since I've started working out those issues, my magical chipping powers have completely left me.

So goes golf and life.

Summer Movies Round 1

2009-05-26T05:18:00.000-07:00

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
A good action flick, with a silly fight in the third act. I did enjoy this wild spin-off, but its not the second coming of the comic book film. 6.5/10

Star Trek
If Star Trek had always been like this, it could have truly rivaled Star Wars. New Star Trek is now greatly anticipated by me. 9.5/10

Angels & Demons
I imagine the was a true translation of the book, even though I've never read the book. I assume that because The Da Vinci Code was a faithful translation of its source material. Sure, I only read half of that book, but the movie was a dead on...I completely lost interest in both half way through. I didn't even care that much through A&D. 4/10

Terminator: Salvation
There was almost thirty minutes of this film cut to make a PG-13, so a final judgement is being reserved until I see the film in its true form. I did enjoy it, but it felt sliced & diced. That would also explain the bad reviews, and getting beaten by a kids movie on a holiday weekend. Review for now, 8/10. Probably be improved when I see an R version.

Dragonball: Evolution

2009-04-21T17:37:00.000-07:00

They threw a few nods to fans of the show, but other than that, this was about what I expected. Americanized enough to lose the fans of the anime, and Japanese enough to confuse anyone who hasn't seen the show.

Fail.

What Happened? & Body of Lies

2009-03-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

What Happened?

Quite the correct title. How do you screw up a Barry Levinson directed Bobby DeNiro, Bruce Willis, and a plethora of other excellent castings? The title alone should have been fair warning to whomever backed this. Note to Hollywood: When making a comedy, add jokes, or something funny.

4/10

Body Of Lies

Ridley Scott is a favored director because Blade Runner is a masterpiece. With this he basically set his film Kindom Of Heaven (review for that sometime, but a quick score for the curious, 10/10) in the current Middle East situation. Now, I, like the rest of America, am not really interested in the billion or so Iraq movies that Hollywood has been pumping out. Most are a trainwreck of filmmaking (Syrianna, 2/10), incredibly biased, or kind of depressing (The Kingdom, 7.5/10), and no matter which side of that fence you're on, it doesn't usually make for good entertainment. There are a few gems out there, but too many that follow the aforementioned faults to merit slogging through them all.

All that being said, I quite enjoyed this one. I think it caught a great feel for the reality of what the situation is, without being preachy. And that goes a long way.

Also, did I mention that Ridley Scott is one hell of a filmmaker?

9/10

Appaloosa

2009-03-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to tell you, I'm an Ed Harris whore. After The Abyss, that dude has to work pretty hard to disappoint me. But the great casting for this flick goes on, and on, and on. Viggo Mortensen. Lance Henrickson. That one dude from Cliffhanger. Then theres the ever hideous Rene Zellwegger, who looks more and more like Carrottop everyday, but lets just ignore her and her dumb character.

I'll also be the first to tell you the genre of western film isn't really my bag either. I hate the cliche stuff, so westerns are difficult for me to stomach unless they are unique or twist 'cowboys and indians' on its side. This film does that. I was quite surprised to hear them cracking jokes, and doing seriously non-cowboy things like reading and trying to improve their vocabulary.

They shot some stuff too. The story is pretty servicable, even if it seems to meander around and get lost in the third act, but who cares. The real story here is the interactions between the main characters. The relationships are more interesting than who's rustlin' who's cattle or bangin' who's girlfriend or shootin' whoevers sheriff.

I guess what I'm saying is I approve.

8.5/10

Akira

2009-03-15T17:33:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite films, Akira pretty much gets the honor of introducing anime to the west. Many of the themes it contains also introduced me to the cinema of the east, relative to the style of issues Japanese films dive into.

Motorcycles gangs, anti-government groups, secret government expiriments...all run amuck in Neo-Tokyo. After a government secret project code named Akira went bad and destroyed Tokyo in WWIII, the city spent decades rebuilding. The era and joy of rebuilding has cooled, and the citizens grow restless. Motorcycle gangs run rampant and normal people do they're best to stay out of their way. One night a simple street race with a rival gang brings our main characters into contact with a new escaped government creation, unleashing the possiblility of another Akira disaster.

I don't like telling everything that happens, but rest assured, its excellent. Mixing every classic theme possible (man vs. man, man vs. society, man vs. himself) and asking the viewer those borderline questions that always spark conversation, Akira entertains till the end.

I love this film, and everytime I watch it, I swear I love it more. I would put this film in my top three of all time.

10/10

Allo, me blogmates.

2009-03-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

I love lots of movies, though most are far from great. I'll get into movies, writings, and other general rantings for your amusement. Woo-hoo.